REALITY IS MERELY A FIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINATION.
WAKE UP, YOU’RE DREAMING.


My name is Fossil. And no, it doesn’t mean anything.
I am a furry, fursuiter and therian.
My species is wolf (Canis lupus).

Years ago, a dream I had strongly compelled me to travel over 2,000 miles just to speak with a river.
When I awoke, I discovered an old song which would further foretell the journey I would make.
I left suddenly on that journey by car starting that very night.

I traveled North, until contact with the Mississippi River.
I followed it until the Missouri River.
And from there, to the Yellowstone, moving West towards a small Eastern Montana town.
There, I walk in the bank of the Yellowstone River entirely alone, the violent current rushing past me.
Where I expected voices, I instead found understanding.

Looking down, I see a large stone with the light shining through it, I believe to be an agate.
Encased within it is a male pollen cone from a conifer tree fossilized inside.
I found it hard to believe how even as far as I drove, the water which flowed beneath me would end up home.

In the song “Sorrow” by Pink Floyd, a later stanza reads the following:
“And he talks to the river of lost love and dedication
And silent replies that swirl invitation
Flow dark and troubled to an oily sea
A grim intimation of what is to be”.

I believe the song means to reference the Trail of Tears, and the inability to correct the destruction we create to the Earth.
However when taken literally, I can’t help but see parallelism spelled out from my own life which mirrored the song.

Never in my entire life have I ever felt like I understood myself more than when I stood in that river.
I could see myself for who I was, and I never felt more myself than then.
While I stayed there, I had several significant dreams about form as a wolf.
It felt so close to home, even though it wasn’t.



I believe God speaks to us through dreams, and that dreams can sometimes foretell the future.
With this in mind, I would like to discuss a dream I had as a kid.
When I was young, about 4 years old or so,
I had an odly significant dream that left me questioning myself and stirred my consiousness for several weeks.
This was, at least so far, the most significant dream I have ever had.

In the dream, the setting takes place in my kindergarden class.
We were headed on a field trip, to some unknown place. As far as I remember, it begins on a schoolbus.
While driving to our destination, looking outside the right-side window,
the curb of the street was lined with clothes washing machines for the duration of the trip.
Each washing machine had a name on it's label, representing each student in the class.
For some reason, the washing machine which had my name was in error-
as if somebody had replaced the label with my name for that of a different machine.
I didn't think much of it, and we eventually arrived at our destination.

From what it appeared, this destination was some place you had to be individually admitted to.
Before you could enter, each student had to pass some sort of test.
I never really undestood what the test was in the dream, however,
from what i saw and experienced, the test consisted of this:
The student would lay down with their head on some sort of scanner or surface.
Somehow, while laying over this device, the surface would fill with water as if it was some sort of tub.
The volume of water collected had some sort of significance, but I didn't understand what.

Each student, one by one, took this test, usually resulting in an inch or two of water.
Finally, it was my own turn.
I lay down and place my head over the surface.
To my suprise, an error sounded on the machine and the tub flooded with water,
completely submerging my face, and I feared that I would drown.
After a few seconds the water receded and drained. However, in that moment I saw something I couldnt explain.
It was myself, but in another form. I saw myself as some sort of animal, I belive to be some sort of apex predator.
At this point is when I woke up.

I still question what I saw while submerged; I know it was an animal,
but what exactly I'm not sure. Maybe I was so young I wasn't familiar with the species yet.
Regardless, I'll always wonder what it means. I do believe it means something.


If everything we do creates more disorder in the universe, then what are we doing here?
Whatever you do, whatever you make, make art with it.
Go outside, be adventurous. Stop living on your phone.
Don't be afraid to take risks and try new things.
Embrace the simple things you love in life and hold them close.
What do you want to be remembered for?